Giventhefate.livejournal.com

Closed.

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 05:39:56 GMT

I have been inactive with this journal for over 3 months now & i have no intention of returning and/or writing about my life here anymore. So with out further a due this personal journal is closed & anyone who is on my friends list may feel free to delete me, no hard feelings & someday i'm sure i'll get around to deleting you.

However i do plan on being active in some of the groups i am a member to, gathering icons from some of my favorite makers & being active again in my own graphics community:

devoteddaydream

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 13:06:14 GMT

Happy New Year!!!!!

it's five mins into jan. 1st 2008 for me!!

You're the music in me.

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:16:44 GMT

Isn’t stephy (maybetomorrow ) just the best, she made me this bee-utiful new header and customized the colors and I must say that I absolutely LOVE it, seriously when I first saw it I was like speechless I couldn’t stop looking at it.

My new layout marks the start of my new layout challenge I’m setting for myself entitled: Month By Month , this challenge just means that the 26th of the current month till the 26th of the coming month the layout will be used & every new month a new layout will take it’s place and so on and so on. I’m mainly starting this challenge because I’m a very indecisive person as I happen to say a lot and I enjoy setting myself a challenge every now and then depending on the challenge. Btw, I also made myself a new userinfo to go with the layout, I may also do that with my future month to month layout’s all though that’s still undecided.

Thank you so much steph, I appreciate it a lot, you’re the best =D

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 02:04:56 GMT

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas with their families, this Christmas day or Christmas Eve as some of you celebrate it then.

My Christmas was less then fun in other words crappy but whatever, pfft., i'm thinking of buying myself a paid account here @ lj & maybe some add on userpics too as a Christmas present because i got given some money as a gift yesterday but i'm still unsure yet there is so many options as to what i could get, hmm....i would love to know what other paid users think about having a paid account, if you're willing to share those thoughts pretty please?

Back Then.

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 07:39:35 GMT

Before i fully used this journal 3 weeks ago it used to be my so called writing journal where basically whenever was feeling creative which was usually when i was depressed or upset over i guy i really liked, i would express my feeling’s with writing free write poetry, any ways seeing as all those entries are so many entries back i thought i would compile a list of them, for my self to remise over & for some of you to hopefully maybe to get to know some more about me & maybe even understand Giventhefate aka Me!

This is still my favourite peice of all time so far:

http://giventhefate.livejournal.com/5877.html

My other somewhat favs:

http://giventhefate.livejournal.com/3531.html
http://giventhefate.livejournal.com/3125.html
http://giventhefate.livejournal.com/2869.html
http://giventhefate.livejournal.com/2779.html

Community Cuts: 15/12/07

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:17:35 GMT

Sorry to all of the community’s listed below but i have now left your community for the main reason's i wanted to cut back on the community’s i was a member of and because all though i was indeed a member i was not currently active within in it right now and/or never have been active within it ever.

i'm sorry to these community’s but you have been cut from my list:

100poems 4poetry _layout_whore_ episodic100 fencesdivide freewriters icons100 musicon100 picandpoem re_cycled s2flexisquares s2smoothsailing todayirealized tv_junkie100

My baby up and left me now.

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 12:01:27 GMT

I have a new layout which i absolutly love my biggest thank you's go to: Original stylesheet by minty_peach Haley James Scott mood theme by callmeadreamer Previous header for this layout by maybetomorrow Dean/Veronica Manip by maybetomorrow New header manip by lipslikevelvet for everything that made this layout possible.

Layout #1: Till i hit rock bottom, you're my sin city. - giventhefate.livejournal.com When You're Gone - Feat. Ryan & Marissa

I always needed time on my own, I never thought I'd need you there when I cry And the days feel like years when I'm alone, I never felt this way before, Everything that I do, Reminds me of you. We were made for each other, Out here forever, I know we were, All I ever wanted was for you to know, Everything I do I give my heart and soul I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me.

Original Quotes #5 - #7

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:53:19 GMT

Quote #5

Tell me why I keep making you my everything and me your nothing??

Quote #6

I've got better things to do than lie to you.

Quote #7

Will you believe what's sunken right in front of your eyes?? Or shall I leave you torn??

Original Quotes #1 - #4

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:46:35 GMT

(These were originally written on the 31st of March 2007)

Quote #1

I expect the best from myself, but i always find imperfections.

Quote #2

Im not perfect, i will never be what your exceptions are.

Quote #3

Life is never a fantasy nor is it what you want it to be deep inside.

Quote #4

In your sweet embrace, this love is something waiting to happen.

Re-worded

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:38:19 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 31st of March 2007)

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And my heart is breaking because of you.

Stupid

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:37:17 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 31st of March 2007)

How stupid can I be,
Not to see that you are the,
Best thing to happen to me.

Our Own Sins

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:34:22 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 31st of March 2007)

We are all born innocent,
We grow up to sin,
Its easy to forget what others have done,
But hard to let go of our own sins.

Beauty

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:33:24 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 31st of March 2007)

Theres beauty in your smile,
Theres beauty in your touch,
Theres beauty within all of us.

Unravel Me

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:31:19 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 31st of March 2007)

Unravel me,
See me for each layer of my soul there is to see,
Unravel me,
Im not just black and white,
Unravel me,
Im a person,
A human with more to me than whats on the outside.

Sleeping With Your Pride

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 07:10:12 GMT

I know I’ll get cold, feel empty & oh so lonely, but I’m tired of this.

So boy why didn’t your mother teach you, that your woman is meant to be your everything, your body & your soul, not just someone you wake up next to, your woman should be the reason you wake up at all.

I thought this time I had choose the right one, the one who would love me and love me so right, help me erase my wrong, forget Mr. past, keep me and treat me like a queen, oh boy I should be your reason to smile not my own reason to cry.

When your dog died, I thought finally I would come first, I cooked you dinner every night, I even gave birth to your first child, nothing changed, only you did.

Now all that is left is the emotions I’ve tried to sweep away,
Telling myself I’ll be alright.

So now, Take your money, Take your fake lies because goodbye was gonna come, I’ll think of you forever but now you can sleep all alone, just sleeping with your pride, by your side.

About A Guy Named Sam...

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 11:16:15 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 27th of January 2007 and posted @ my old deviantart account)

You turned my world upside down,
From the moment you said hi,
But now I know your heart is somewhere else,
When I want you here with me.

Last week I thought I had gotten’ over you,
But then I just can’t let go,
I can’t get over you.

And I’m sorry I can’t stop feeling this,
Even though in the beginning you would do anything to talk to me,
And now you don’t say boo unless I do.

I’m sorry that I expected more from you,
And I’m sorry that I am hurt that you could want someone else.

But what did you think would happen?

So one last thing I’m not saying thank you for leaving me confused,
And not understanding men,
I’m a woman,
I just plain don’t get men.

Tibits

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 10:45:03 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 08th of January 2007 and posted @ my old myspace)

I'm a real person. I have feeling's, I have problems, I feel vulnerable and self-conscious. I'm just like every other person.

I just want to figure out what I want to do and then, figure out a way I can make money off it.

I'm a girlie girl and I just like being feminine.

But right now music guides my emotions and I look to music for clarity.

I know I'm complicated and I cant change that, I cant change who I am, if I could you know something I would change so many thing's, with a click of my finger.

The Mixed Tape

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 10:42:19 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 06th of January 2007 and posted @ my old myspace)

Where are you now?

Is what I'm always thinking when I look out that same old car window.

And all I need is the truth,

I wish you were a stranger but I can't lose the argument on why?

I'm sorry to say but you are not just part of my past,

You're more then that you're the blue in my eyes,

The blood in my veins and the rest of my DNA.

I know I'll never get the answers I want,

I've been waiting 16 years now and your still not here.

So when I finally say hello don't expect a thing from me other than goodbye.

So finally I'm not alone.

Alone to know what leaving someone you love and your mother going off the rail's at 14 feel's like.

Now I have someone who might understand the pain I have because we share it.

But dealing with it everyday is the next step.

They say time heals everything but I'm still broken.

Only now I'm just living for the next day,

For what tomorrow brings.

I know were I have gone wrong in the beginning of this life I lead,

I know why I was taken' from everything I knew what a family was like,

I understand why I spent every night home alone,

Scared of what might happen if he found out who you were seeing,

When he was doing the dirty himself all along and he has no right to judge,

After all that's happened now.

I've lost the fight for what I know isn't true,

You might believe she's yours,

But deep down I know there's no possibility,

I'm the only daughter you'll ever have but maybe it's time to accept your decision,

And just try to have what I'm lost without one more time.

I never knew that pain and addiction went together,

I never understood why people would use drugs to cover it all.

May it be illegal drugs or packets of pills,

So you can just sleep at night.

But now I understand the pills,

That slumber is bliss but I also know that it's better to deal with the pain,

Instead of pausing it by taking the illegal stuff too.

I know that I don't know everything,

Or even begin to understand everything.

But I still don't understand why god saved my life,

When everyone else like me died back then,

What's my meaning for being alive?,

For being here on earth?,

What's my soul's lesson to learn?,

Or am I just here for no reason at all?,

Just to live?,

To be a statistic?

or something dramatic like that.

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 10:38:55 GMT

(This piece was originally written on the 26th of December 2006 and posted @ my old myspace)

how is it that a couple of words can change the situation in a second. They can make us blush, they can make us feel confident, they can make us feel like the fool and they can just brake the ice, so conversation can be made.

how is it that no matter how eww others might say what you think and just said is and you know you would never do that it's gross, yet you still think that and when you've left you still think all along were you only making conversation because I hadn't seen you in a year and what I saw, I didn't expect and the first three words I said, I'm sure you didn't think I'd say that, like everyone else.

how is it that sometimes we say thing's with out thinking and….

why is it that sometimes we all just wish for one second that you weren't who you were to me and that I could just have you.

why is it that when you try and try to bump into the person you met six months ago, it never happens. But when your not thinking and not expecting it, you bump into each other again.

why is it that sometimes you never forget that face or that name and then when you move on, you wish you had made that move and asked what you know you wanted to or all those other times you wouldn't of tried so hard to see each other again.

how come out of fear you have doubt's and you only want to be perfect.

how come life gives us opportunities, so we can have what we want out of life but we never get what we want with out complications.

how come sometimes we do the things we all know others think is stupid and everyone say's there is no way he can dance for 5-10 hours with out taking something like ice.

how come everyone likes to give there 2 cents on how and who you should be and what you should be doing with your life but they never help you make those steps.

pain the physical pain always goes away, but the emotional pain is here to stay.

life it gives us chance after chance to fix our mistakes, to change what's happened, to stop the emotional pain you have from giving birth to your own dead baby, by allowing you to fall pregnant again.

happiness is something every human searches for. we all look for it in every place of our lives and self's. some of us find it but never hold onto it. some of us are still looking and some of us are just fooling our self's that we have it already.

life, love, pain, thought's, feeling's are all just something that are sometimes unexplainable and un-understandable or is it something dramatic like all of that.

The Boy Before This Summer Begun

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 10:57:06 GMT

You Say You're No Good, I'd Say You're To Perfect To Be True...But the Silence That Belongs To You, Is Only Reminding Me Of What We Used To Be, And it’s coming around again, These twists & turns of fate but sooner than later everything is broken.

Feel the rain, Within the in-between, because distance made my heart grow fonder, And then rational thought brought me back down to earth.

I know I’ll never be perfect but I couldn’t care less all I’ve got is this heart that I’m willing to loose just to have you And now because of you I can finally breathe, you’re the oxygen I need.

With All The Colors In The Rain

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 10:55:06 GMT

With all the colors in the rain,

I wish you could just hold me tight,

Like it was our last goodbye.

Baby, baby,

Maybe I’m just crazy,

I feel like you keep playing games,

Leaving me wanting more & more.

This feeling is taking over,

I’m losing control,

Do you see it within me?

Long before I met you I thought I learned my lesson.

Oh no,

This time I’m trying to stop & then run,

But there you are on my mind,

Just irrestible.

First Class Lady

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 10:53:18 GMT

I’m moody & I’m messy,

I like how chaotic feels but I can’t seem to make it stick,

White lies, Drugs, shyness & Women with the bodies I wish I had,

Make me wanna scream.

I constantly tell myself I’m scared of the unknown & the future to use as an excuse because I never seem to make any kind of move that I know I should be.

I live with all of my regrets on my sleeve,

Leaving the only thing I’m not scared to preach is everything I am with all of life’s honesty on my side.

Tears used to run down my face day & night,

Misery I called you my friend,

No one listened. No one cared. No one understood.

Than tell me why, if I was so strong then, I’ve grown up feeling weak.

After Today

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 10:50:36 GMT

Ain't it funny,
How you used to walk on by,
But i don't need to forgive myself for where i no longer end.

Untitled

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 04:42:15 GMT

Deprived because of choice,
I'm breaking my habit,
Trying to breath in today.

But forever i complain,
Nothing is enough,
I'm so unhappy when i'm at home,
The world outside is a rollercoaster,
That i never want to stop riding,
Till i run out of oxygen.

More Than One Meaning

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 04:33:39 GMT

Now is the finishing line,
We were the weight of our world's,
You hid the lies,
But i never told you the truth,
Together we will end up leaving with out a sigh.